Why the Church Needs to Address Porn Addiction for Women

Why the Church Needs to Address Porn Addiction for Women, porn, porn addiction, women's ministry

Pornography does not only hurt men. Porn enters into our churches and impacts men AND women. When was the last time you heard a sermon on porn in your church? If so, when was the last time you heard it preached to women?

Most female porn addicts feel alone. This could be because the church isn’t talking about it.
Instead of finding freedom, women live alone in shame and bondage.

Porn addicts keep their story to themselves, creating shame, and giving Satan power. To help women struggling with porn addiction, we have to go first and share our struggles. Even if you have never struggled with porn, we must share our struggles with women in our ministries. Our vulnerability will help other women open up about their addiction and find freedom.

Statistics show that women are struggling with porn addiction in our churches. Check out the stats: 1 out of 3 visitors to adult sites are women. 17% of all women struggle with pornography addiction. 89% of women struggle with masturbation. And 70% of women keep their sexual addictions secret. Pornography addiction impacts the lives of women all around us. We need to stop shaming the subject and start talking about it.

Our women are hurting. Porn destroys their emotions and spirits, causing many symptoms in their lives. Here are a few:

  • Depression. They wake up feeling depressed and think, “Will I ever get over this?”
  • Negative body image. Women look in the mirror and realize that their body will never match up with the bodies they see in porn. Self hate leads to shame and turns her back to porn for comfort, and continue the cycle of addiction. She will start to believe the lie that she’ll never be pretty enough.
  • Fear. After watching porn, a woman will feel defeated. She will fear that she will never be good enough to find a Christian spouse and will never be a good mom.
  • Failure. Because of her addiction, a woman may want to give up pursuing Jesus, stop going to church, or stop reading the Bible. She will feel like a failure, and will turn back to porn for comfort.
  • Separation. After not spending time with God because of feeling like a failure, she will feel far from God. This continues the cycle of addiction.
  • Unworthiness. She will begin to feel unworthy of God’s love. After months or years of struggling with addiction, she will think, “How could God love a sinner like me?”
  • Shame. This is the biggest symptom that will continue the cycle of addiction. Shame forces a woman to keep her addiction a secret. When she doesn’t share her struggle with others, she may never find freedom or accountability. A women will keep her addiction to herself because of the fear of how others will react.
  • Other addictions. Eventually, porn may no longer satisfy her inner desires. Similar to drug addiction, the addict will turn to bigger and harder products. The list of sex addictions goes on and on and all point us away from God’s perfect design for sex.

I share this because women need freedom. Women are addicted to porn in our churches and are alone in their struggle.

Churches, can we give these women some freedom?

Every Sunday, we preach the good news of Jesus. The redemption of the Cross. Jesus died to redeem lives. He died for these women. He died for porn addicts. Can we preach on women’s porn addiction so that women know this Good News?

Jesus came to break every chain. Every single chain. Even porn addiction for women.

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Here are 5 things you need to know about the addiction and how to talk about it:

1. Sexual addiction is an intimacy disorder.

“It’s not about sex at all, but about the desperate search for love and touch and affirmation and acceptance. Those are descriptions of intimacy. God created us for intimate connection with Him, with others and with ourselves. When those connections are broken or absent, women desperately seek a false substitute. Sex or porn is the best stand-in for the real thing.” -Marnie Ferree

2. Sexual addiction is not about changing behavior, it’s about changing the heart.

We need to stop condemning sexual sin without being willing to help and understand the issue. Sometimes a woman will admit to porn addiction, and instead of feeling loved, she experiences shame. Offer her the help she so desperately needs. Help her love Jesus more and help her figure out her heart issues that cause her to turn to porn. Love her and point her to Jesus.

3. Sexual addiction can’t be covered up with a religious band-aid.

Telling a woman to pray more or do more won’t fix the heart issues. You are trying to fix the behavior, and this band-aid won’t last forever. It will fall off and the wound could be even worse. For women addicted to porn, porn is her coping mechanism. If we fix the outer behavior of watching porn and don’t fix the heart issues, then the women will create a new coping mechanism or a new addiction. If we don’t help her with the heart issues, the cycle will go on and on.

4. Sexual addiction could be caused by unhealed family wounds.

Help her to understand the roots that formed the foundation of her sexual addiction. There is no such thing as a perfect family, but her family could have played a role in her addiction. If her family system told her to avoid uncomfortable topics, emotions, or life events, this could have caused her to turn to porn. Help her work through her childhood and family relationships.

5. Sexual addiction could be caused by abuse.

Check out the stats of women who struggle with sexual addiction and their past of abuse:

Dream with me church. Imagine what would happen in the lives of our women if the church started to talk about porn addiction. Imagine the freedom they would feel. Contagious freedom. They would want to share this freedom with their girlfriends and exclaim, “Jesus changed my life and the church was a part of it! You have to go with me next Sunday!” This will not only change lives, but it will grow our churches.

If you are a woman who is struggling with porn addiction, there is hope for you. There is freedom. Check out these two posts: FREEDOM: How to Find Freedom From Sexual Sin and Sexual Addiction and Freedom – The Power of the Holy Spirit.

Find FREEDOM from Porn for Women in this Devotional on YouVersion.com!

Freedom from Porn for Women Bible.com

 

Additional Resources for Porn Addiction Recovery:

Why the Church Needs to Address Porn Addiction for Women

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8 Comments on Why the Church Needs to Address Porn Addiction for Women

  1. Kairah
    June 13, 2016 at 11:38 pm (2 years ago)

    I love this! As someone who has recently been delivered from this addiction by God’s grace, these words truly resonate with me. A few days ago, I finally found the courage to share my story about my struggle with pornography on my blog. You can read it here: https://mybeautifulundoing.com/2016/06/11/my-secret-sin/.

    For me the biggest blessing has been using this struggle which was the source of my inner war for 7 years, as my weapon to set other women free from sexual sin!

    Reply
    • joypedrow
      July 20, 2016 at 10:24 am (2 years ago)

      Thank you Kairah for sharing your story with us! I love how God is using you for His Kingdom!

      Reply
  2. Trish
    December 12, 2016 at 2:30 am (1 year ago)

    Thank you so much for this article. It is spot on! Every word! I am also a secret addict and i hate it! I read my bible every day and i really love Christ but everytime I’m feeling like i want to view it,this addiction comes over me again. But thank you. This article really helps. I wouldn’t feel so alone if society and the church stop focusing on men having sex addictions. Women have them just as much.

    Reply
    • joypedrow
      December 12, 2016 at 4:54 pm (1 year ago)

      Thank you for sharing that with us. I’m so glad you found this post! Do you have anyone in your life that you can talk to about your addiction? That is the first step to finding healing.

      Reply
      • Trish
        December 12, 2016 at 5:32 pm (1 year ago)

        Perhaps someone at my church. I would rather speak to a woman from church.

        Reply
        • joypedrow
          December 12, 2016 at 5:49 pm (1 year ago)

          Yes, that would be great! Can you think of someone?

          Reply
          • Trish
            December 12, 2016 at 7:37 pm (1 year ago)

            There’s a few prominent women in my church yeah. They’re older and wiser.

            Reply
            • joypedrow
              December 13, 2016 at 3:16 pm (1 year ago)

              That’s great! I pray that you can find freedom and accountability through talking to them.

              Reply

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