Why the Church Needs to Address Porn Addiction for Women

Why the Church Needs to Address Porn Addiction for Women, porn, porn addiction, women's ministry

Porn is not just a man’s problem. Porn is entering into our churches and affecting men AND women. When was the last time you heard a sermon on porn in your church? If so, when was the last time you heard it preached to women?

Most female porn addicts feel alone. This could be because the church isn’t talking about it.
Instead of finding freedom, women are living alone in shame and bondage.

Porn addicts keep their story to themselves, building shame in their hearts and giving Satan power. To help women struggling with porn addiction, we have to be the first to open up and share our struggles. We have to be honest and share our stories with others. Even if you’ve never been addicted to porn, we have to be authentic and vulnerable and share our struggles with the women we are ministering to. Our vulnerability will help women open up about their addiction and find freedom.

Statistics show that women are struggling with porn addiction in our church. Check out the stats: 1 out of 3 visitors to adult sites are women. 17% of all women struggle with pornography addiction. 89% of women struggle with masturbation. And 70% of women keep their sexual addictions secret. Pornography addiction is a real problem in the lives of women all around us. We need to stop shaming the subject and start talking about it openly.

Our women are hurting. Porn is destroying them emotionally and spiritually and causing multiple symptoms in their life. Here are just a few:

  • Depression. They wake up feeling depressed and think, “Will I ever get over this?”
  • Negative body image. They look in the mirror and realize that their body will never match up with the body they see in porn. This causes a woman to begin to hate herself and her body, causing her to feel shameful, turn back to porn for comfort, and continue the cycle of addiction. She will start to believe the lie that she’ll never be pretty enough.
  • Bad moods. After watching porn, a woman will feel defeated and for the rest of the day think that she will never be good enough. She will believe that she’ll never be good enough to find a Christian spouse and will never be a good mom.
  • Failure. Immediately after watching porn, a woman may want to give up pursuing Jesus, stop going to church, or stop reading the Bible, all of which will make her feel like a failure.
  • Separation. The feelings of failure will result in feelings of separation from God because of the lack of time she spends with Him. This continues the cycle of addiction.
  • Unworthiness. She will begin to feel unworthy of God’s love. After months or years of struggling with addiction, she will think, “How could God love a sinner like me?”
  • Shame. In my opinion, this is the biggest symptom that will continue the cycle of addiction. Shame forces a woman to keep her addiction a secret. When she doesn’t share her struggle with others, she will never find freedom, accountability or other women who also struggle with addiction. A women will keep her addiction to herself because of the fear of how others will react or because of the way she has seen others react to other sins or secrets.
  • Other addictions. Eventually, porn may no longer satisfy the inner desires of the woman. Just like in drug addiction, the addict will turn to bigger and harder products. The list of sex addictions goes on and on and all point us away from God’s design for sex.

I share all of this because there are women hurting. Women who are addicted to porn in our churches and are alone in their struggle.

Churches, can we give these women some freedom?

Every Sunday, we preach the good news of Jesus. The redemption of the Cross. Jesus died to redeem lives. He died for these women. He died for porn addicts. Can we preach on women’s porn addiction so that women know this Good News?

Jesus came to break every chain. Every single chain. Even porn addiction for women.

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If I have convinced you that you need to preach about porn for women, here are 5 things you need to know about the addiction and how to talk about it.

1. Sexual addiction is an intimacy disorder.

“It’s not about sex at all, but about the desperate search for love and touch and affirmation and acceptance. Those are descriptions of intimacy. God created us for intimate connection with Him, with others and with ourselves. When those connections are broken or absent, women desperately seek a false substitute. Sex or porn is the best stand-in for the real thing.” -Marnie Ferree

2. Sexual addiction is not about changing behavior, it’s about changing the heart.

We need to stop condemning sexual sin without being willing to help and understand the sin and the sinner. Sometimes a woman will admit to porn addiction, and instead of feeling loved, she experiences shame. Offer her the help she so desperately needs. Help her love Jesus more and help her figure out her heart issues that are leading to addiction. Love her and point her to Jesus.

3. Sexual addiction can’t be covered up with a religious band-aid.

Telling a woman to pray more or do more won’t fix the heart issues. You are trying to fix the behavior, and this band-aid won’t last forever. It will fall off and the wound could be even worse. For women addicted to porn, porn is her coping mechanism. If we just fix the outer behavior of watching porn and don’t fix the heart issues, then the women will just create a new coping mechanism or a new addiction. If we don’t help her with the heart issues, the cycle will go on and on.

4. Sexual addiction could be caused by unhealed family wounds.

Help her to understand the roots that formed the foundation of her sexual addiction. There is no such thing as a perfect family, but her family could have played a role in her addiction. If her family system told her not to talk about uncomfortable things or not to feel certain emotions, or to deny and minimize life events – this could have affected the women. Help her work through her childhood and family relationships.

5. Sexual addiction could be caused by abuse.

Check out the stats of women who struggle with sexual addiction and their past of abuse:

Dream with me church, imagine what would happen in the lives of our women if the church started to talk about porn addiction. Imagine the freedom they would feel. I think this freedom would be contagious. They would want to share it with all their girlfriends and exclaim, “Jesus changed my life and the church was a part of it! You have to go with me next Sunday!” This will not only change lives, but it will grow our churches.

If you are a woman who is struggling with porn addiction, there is hope for you. There is freedom. Check out these two posts: FREEDOM: How to Find Freedom From Sexual Sin and Sexual Addiction and Freedom – The Power of the Holy Spirit.

Find FREEDOM from Porn for Women in this Devotional on YouVersion.com!

Freedom from Porn for Women Bible.com

 

Additional Resources for Porn Addiction Recovery:

Why the Church Needs to Address Porn Addiction for Women

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8 Comments on Why the Church Needs to Address Porn Addiction for Women

  1. Kairah
    June 13, 2016 at 11:38 pm (2 years ago)

    I love this! As someone who has recently been delivered from this addiction by God’s grace, these words truly resonate with me. A few days ago, I finally found the courage to share my story about my struggle with pornography on my blog. You can read it here: https://mybeautifulundoing.com/2016/06/11/my-secret-sin/.

    For me the biggest blessing has been using this struggle which was the source of my inner war for 7 years, as my weapon to set other women free from sexual sin!

    Reply
    • joypedrow
      July 20, 2016 at 10:24 am (1 year ago)

      Thank you Kairah for sharing your story with us! I love how God is using you for His Kingdom!

      Reply
  2. Trish
    December 12, 2016 at 2:30 am (1 year ago)

    Thank you so much for this article. It is spot on! Every word! I am also a secret addict and i hate it! I read my bible every day and i really love Christ but everytime I’m feeling like i want to view it,this addiction comes over me again. But thank you. This article really helps. I wouldn’t feel so alone if society and the church stop focusing on men having sex addictions. Women have them just as much.

    Reply
    • joypedrow
      December 12, 2016 at 4:54 pm (1 year ago)

      Thank you for sharing that with us. I’m so glad you found this post! Do you have anyone in your life that you can talk to about your addiction? That is the first step to finding healing.

      Reply
      • Trish
        December 12, 2016 at 5:32 pm (1 year ago)

        Perhaps someone at my church. I would rather speak to a woman from church.

        Reply
        • joypedrow
          December 12, 2016 at 5:49 pm (1 year ago)

          Yes, that would be great! Can you think of someone?

          Reply
          • Trish
            December 12, 2016 at 7:37 pm (1 year ago)

            There’s a few prominent women in my church yeah. They’re older and wiser.

            Reply
            • joypedrow
              December 13, 2016 at 3:16 pm (1 year ago)

              That’s great! I pray that you can find freedom and accountability through talking to them.

              Reply

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