Have you ever experienced the back and forth change of setting physical boundaries in a dating relationship?
Maybe we should stop kissing for a while. It’s just too tempting to want to go further. Or let’s only kiss while standing. No kissing on the couch or leaning against the wall… well, anything is fine as long as we aren’t in a bed. Okay, it is settled — we can kiss anywhere, but not in your bed.
Days later… never mind, we shouldn’t kiss at all…just cuddling.
But cuddling is making it tempting to kiss you. So what if we kiss, but short kisses. Standing only. What if we just stop hanging out after a certain time? Let’s make a curfew. That will work.
Welcome to the world of Christian dating — desiring to honor God and live a life of purity, but constantly fighting against the flesh.
Meet Brenda Rodgers – a recovering single who wrote the eBook Fall for Him: 25 Challenges from a Recovering Single and blogs at Triple Braided Life. Brenda was single for longer than she expected, and it was the hardest time in her life. During those years she could not reconcile why God gave her the intense desire to be a wife and mother and yet those desires were not being fulfilled.
Now, her mission is to mentor young women for purposeful lives of faith. She writes about her personal relationship with Jesus, singleness, community, relationships, mentoring, and raising daughters. Today, Brenda hopes to share with you wisdom she learned from her years as a single woman with the hope that you will be well equipped to lead a life of peace and purpose.
Time for the Q&A!
Did you struggle with purity while you were single? If so, did it affect your marriage?
Last month, I lived in anxiety wondering how in the world do I know if this is the man God wants me to date? I was paralyzed with uncertainties. I had met a man who loved Jesus, but did that mean we should date? I was uncertain if God was opening a door or if our meeting in an elevator was just a random occurrence. I was certain of one thing – I wanted to follow God’s will in this decision. Let’s be honest, figuring out God’s will in who to date seems daunting. How do we really know God’s will in who to date? (more…)
Earlier this summer, I wrote a post 5 Action Steps to Guard Your Heart from Impurity. Each action step looked at the story of Joseph found in Genesis 39:7-12 and explained how to pursue purity. We know that it is easier to give into temptation than to fight against our desires, but Joseph showed us that it is possible to live a life of purity. In this post, we will read David’s story and learn how to bring God glory as we fight for purity. Then I will share additional scripture verses that explain God’s view on purity. I encourage you to pull out your Bible and read these passages as you hold God’s word in your hand. (more…)
As single Christian women, we are excited to one day meet a great Christian guy. Now there is no perfect magic formula to meet one, but there are a few practical tips to help you. Sam Eaton, monthly contributor, shares a few DOs and DON’Ts to getting a great Christian guy to notice you. If you are married, share in the comment section how you met your husband and if you are single, share a tip you learned about dating. Have a great week! xoxo Joy
So he’s caught your eye, has he? You noticed his hipster glasses and sweater vest from across the sanctuary, did ya? Got some of those “I don’t know you but I want to” butterflies?”
For better or worse, I have seen more romantic comedies than any human should, especially for a man. (Growing up it was just my mom and sister so love stories found their way to our TV a little more often than Braveheart).
So as the movies would suggest, here are five clear steps to landing your magic man.
What is your response to temptation? Do you give in to your impure desires or do you fight to follow God’s will and guard your heart from impurity? As hard as it is, God desires for us to guard our hearts from impurity and to pursue holy lives. No matter where you currently are in your walk with God, you can live a pure life. God is constantly showing me how to actively fight for my purity, so I want to share with you 5 ways to actively fight against impurity. (more…)
The questions we all want answers to: How do we know if the guy or girl we are thinking about dating is totally in love with Jesus? How do we know if he or she is running after God with everything? How do we know that he or she isn’t just putting on a show? I know that I’ve asked these questions before in a few situations, so I am thankful to have guest blogger Sam Eaton here to answer them.
Comment below and share how you have decided if a guy or girl totally loves Jesus. How did God reveal this to you? What have you learned from previous situations? Sam and I love hearing from our readers and love knowing how God is working in your hearts. Love, Joy
As I took the lid off of my Caribou cup, a rush of steam rose and quickly evaporated above the table between my incredible friend Anthony and me. For many years we have been meeting in overstuffed chairs to catch up on life and talk about everything from our dating excursions to where we see God calling us to next.
Amidst one of these discussions a few weeks ago, Anthony asked if there were any girls I was interested in as he gave me his sly, “you better tell me, bro” smirk. After some bantering and ridiculous laughter, we landed on this complicated and important question:
If you’re attracted to someone, how can you tell if they are recklessly pursuing Jesus or just putting on a show?
According to 2012 Gallup poll, 77% percent of Americans identify themselves as Christian. Yet, being a Christian and a Christ-Follower is a very different thing. The truth is I want to date someone who is running towards God and isn’t just checking the box.
Oh by the way, it’s not really an easy thing to gauge, especially when you’ve just met someone. It’s not like Cosmo magazine is dying to publish my article “25 Signs Your Man Totally Loves Jesus.” So how can you tell if someone you’re interested in has a mature and inspiring faith? (more…)
Are you worried that you will miss out on God’s plan, specifically by missing out on “The One”?
Guess what – you can not screw up God’s plan for your life.
Early in college, I dated a guy who was a Christian, but was not running after Jesus. I was afraid to break up with him because I thought, “What if I mess up God’s plan? What if this is the guy I’m supposed to marry?” Throughout the relationship, the Holy Spirit kept showing me that I should break up with him. If he was “Mr. Right”, there would not have been so many red flags. (more…)
How many times have you talked with your girlfriends about your perfect guy? Whether it is hair color, height, or personality, we all have preferences. Maybe just like me, you have a list of qualities that you would love to define your dream man. But maybe our long lists of descriptions are causing us to miss the big picture.
As we women look at our long lists, we start wondering, do guys do this too? If so, how will we ever compare to his dream woman?
Let’s get a man to answer this question.
Sam Eaton, guest blogger, gives a humorous spin to our lists. When I first read Sam’s post, I laughed, chuckled, smiled, and nodded in agreement. His words are spot on. Let’s let him answer the question.
What a Godly Man Looks for in a Godly Woman – A Man’s Perspective
Today I’m answering questions that are often asked anonymously. These questions are about physical boundaries. I’ll discuss how far is too far, setting boundaries, cuddling, forgiveness, and sex.
If you have any other questions about Biblical dating that were not discussed, ask them below in the comment section. I will try my best to answer them.
I hope you are enjoying this series and learning a lot about dating. I’m praying for you friends!
xoxo Joy (more…)