In the midst of the guilt, shame and pain of sexual sins, painful thoughts fill my mind, “I can’t believe I sinned… again. Does God hate me for my addictions? Will I ever find freedom?”
If you are struggling with sexual sin today, I’ve been in your shoes. I’ve spent a lot of time talking about finding freedom from sexual sin and the importance of fighting for purity on the blog, but I haven’t spent enough time talking about grace.
To help you better understand grace, here are a few definitions.
Grace is the beauty of following Christ.
Grace is unmerited favor.
Grace is God loving us when we don’t deserve it.
Grace is God’s riches at Christ’s expense.
Grace is the divine means by which God makes Himself everything we need.
When we mess up, God gives us grace. When we feel shameful and defeated, God gives us grace. When we hide from Him, God gives us grace.
Just like Adam and Eve who hid behind fig leaves after they sinned, we run, hide, and build our own fig leaves. What fig leaves are you hiding behind? (more…)
In four months I can freely have sex with my husband whenever we want, but for now, we can’t. We’re engaged and waiting. Deciding to honor God in purity, my fiancé and I are refraining from experiencing sexual intimacy. This isn’t easy. In fact, waiting is hard.
We’ve messed up and have pushed the boundaries further than we’ve wanted to, but we still have yet to have sex. And each time we realize we are pushing the line, we re-evaluate. We re-check our physical boundaries. We re-ask each other this question:
Why are we fighting for purity?
If we don’t know why we are fighting, we will stop fighting. If we don’t see the value of purity, we will never guard it. (What does the Bible say about purity?) Beth Moore explains this perfectly in her new study, Entrusted, “We won’t effectively guard what we don’t highly esteem.”
Do you have high esteem for purity? Do you want to live a life marked by obedience to God? (more…)
“You’ll never find a man to marry who isn’t a virgin!” said a friend to me, Joy, many years ago. I remember thinking, “Why should I wait if he’s not going to wait?” Well ladies, there are men who will be virgins on their wedding night. There are men who value God’s Word and desire to live out purity in singleness and marriage. Sam Eaton is one of those men.
Check out his guest post: Saving Sex for Marriage | From a Guy’s Perspective
Love, Joy (more…)
Readers often ask us questions about relationships, specifically Christian romantic relationships. Women want to know how to find a godly man, what godly men look for in a girlfriend, and lots more. Today four Christian men answer questions about their significant other. Among the four, one is dating, two are engaged, and one is married. Let’s check out their answers! (more…)
You may think I’m crazy. You might think that what I’m about to say is not relevant in today’s world. Hear me out. In high school, I was not planning on waiting until marriage, I just hoped I found a guy I loved. This all changed when I fell in love with God. Now, I want to honor God and give Him all the glory in my current relationship, so I plan on waiting to have sex until my wedding night.
The Bible calls us to be pure and avoid sexual immorality. This is 100% different from the world, but remember that Jesus warns us that we will look different.
I’ve heard a few myths from readers and friends on why they don’t think a couple should wait until their wedding night to have sex. Let me share these myths with you and explain why I think they are myths. (more…)
As a 15 year old girl, I thought I loved him. He was the first boy I held hands with, my first kiss and my first boyfriend. As a high school girl, I dreamed of being together forever. Every night we would talk on the phone for hours, giggling about our days and never running out of things to talk about. He knew more about me than anyone else at that time, even to the point of being able to read my mind.
I was naive, but I was in love.
Doesn’t my body know that I started to follow Jesus my freshman year of college? Yet, why does it constantly not follow Jesus? My mind. My heart. My body. All connected, and yet all do their own thing. Christian dating is hard. Setting physical boundaries is hard. You can only read so many devotionals, Christian blogs and Bible verses on purity before you begin to wonder, what am I doing wrong? Why is none of this controlling my body?
What do you do if you’ve set physical boundaries and you’re pursuing purity in dating, yet your body is doing its own thing?
Allow me to share my story, one of the many stories where my body acts differently from my heart and mind. Through my story and through Scripture, let’s learn together what to do when our bodies don’t know we are Christians. (more…)
Are you currently dating? Are you wondering if the red flags are BIG enough reasons to break up? Are your friends and family concerned about the relationship? If you answered yes to any of these questions, then this post is for you. If you feel in your heart that something is just not right about your relationship – don’t ignore these feelings. This could be the Holy Spirit leading you to break up. Today Sam Eaton will share 10 signs that you may be dating the wrong person. (more…)
Yes, dating is amazing and fun. Yes I love it. But it’s not fully satisfying. We can’t live life hoping to find our satisfaction in our relationship status.
You’re single – you want to be dating. You’re dating – you want to be married. You’re married – you want kids. You have kids – you want more free time. You have free time – you want more to do.
Do you get what I’m saying?
I’ve met countless women in all stages of relationships and none have told me that the status she is in has left her fully satisfied. I have a married friend who has struggled with infertility. She tells me she often cries out to God in pain. Her husband tries to be there for her and comfort her, but she said his comfort is never enough. (more…)
Have you ever experienced the back and forth change of setting physical boundaries in a dating relationship?
Maybe we should stop kissing for a while. It’s just too tempting to want to go further. Or let’s only kiss while standing. No kissing on the couch or leaning against the wall… well, anything is fine as long as we aren’t in a bed. Okay, it is settled — we can kiss anywhere, but not in your bed.
Days later… never mind, we shouldn’t kiss at all…just cuddling.
But cuddling is making it tempting to kiss you. So what if we kiss, but short kisses. Standing only. What if we just stop hanging out after a certain time? Let’s make a curfew. That will work.
Welcome to the world of Christian dating — desiring to honor God and live a life of purity, but constantly fighting against the flesh.