In the midst of the guilt, shame and pain of sexual sins, painful thoughts fill my mind, “I can’t believe I sinned… again. Does God hate me for my addictions? Will I ever find freedom?”
If you are struggling with sexual sin today, I’ve been in your shoes. I’ve spent a lot of time talking about finding freedom from sexual sin and the importance of fighting for purity on the blog, but I haven’t spent enough time talking about grace.
To help you better understand grace, here are a few definitions.
Grace is the beauty of following Christ.
Grace is unmerited favor.
Grace is God loving us when we don’t deserve it.
Grace is God’s riches at Christ’s expense.
Grace is the divine means by which God makes Himself everything we need.
When we mess up, God gives us grace. When we feel shameful and defeated, God gives us grace. When we hide from Him, God gives us grace.
Just like Adam and Eve who hid behind fig leaves after they sinned, we run, hide, and build our own fig leaves. What fig leaves are you hiding behind? (more…)
In four months I can freely have sex with my husband whenever we want, but for now, we can’t. We’re engaged and waiting. Deciding to honor God in purity, my fiancé and I are refraining from experiencing sexual intimacy. This isn’t easy. In fact, waiting is hard.
We’ve messed up and have pushed the boundaries further than we’ve wanted to, but we still have yet to have sex. And each time we realize we are pushing the line, we re-evaluate. We re-check our physical boundaries. We re-ask each other this question:
Why are we fighting for purity?
If we don’t know why we are fighting, we will stop fighting. If we don’t see the value of purity, we will never guard it. (What does the Bible say about purity?) Beth Moore explains this perfectly in her new study, Entrusted, “We won’t effectively guard what we don’t highly esteem.”
Do you have high esteem for purity? Do you want to live a life marked by obedience to God? (more…)
In high school I was a religious hypocrite, yet I had no idea how I was damaging the gospel. I grew up going to church, but the gospel I heard was you have to be a good and perfect Christian to get to heaven.
This was an impossible goal to reach. As hard as I tried, I could never be sinless. And so I lived in this cycle of addiction. I lived in bondage. I would try to be perfect, fail and turn back to sin.
The cycle went on and on.
Living in bondage was exhausting.
I was a religious Pharisee. I told people that I was a Christian and that I felt called to be a pastor, my church even let me preach on youth Sundays, yet I didn’t even know God. One day on the way to school, I was walking up from the parking lot with my boyfriend and he looked at me and said, “You’re a bad Christian.”
I had no idea what it meant to be a Christian. My church added to the gospel and because of this, I believed I needed to earn my salvation.
Maybe you, just like me, sometimes still think you have to be a good perfect Christian woman. Maybe you’ve lost sight of God’s grace. These desires actually make us slaves. We become slaves to our sin and lose our freedom. Why is it that we allow ourselves to be burdened again by slavery instead of living in the freedom that Christ has freely given?
You are I are living our lives like the Christians in Galatians.
In Galatians 5:1 Paul says “For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery.” (more…)
It’s easy to be angry at the people we sin sexually with. It is easy to blame them. We might think, ‘they pushed me further than I would have gone.’ This might be true, but we still are at fault. Our sexual sins hurt God, hurt ourselves, and they hurt others. We must come to God in prayer asking Him for forgiveness. (more…)
You may think I’m crazy. You might think that what I’m about to say is not relevant in today’s world. Hear me out. In high school, I was not planning on waiting until marriage, I just hoped I found a guy I loved. This all changed when I fell in love with God. Now, I want to honor God and give Him all the glory in my current relationship, so I plan on waiting to have sex until my wedding night.
The Bible calls us to be pure and avoid sexual immorality. This is 100% different from the world, but remember that Jesus warns us that we will look different.
I’ve heard a few myths from readers and friends on why they don’t think a couple should wait until their wedding night to have sex. Let me share these myths with you and explain why I think they are myths. (more…)
The moment of temptation right before you sin happens in a matter of seconds. The enemy wants you to sin. He wants victory over your life. The good news is that God has promised us that no temptation is too big or too strong for us to conquer. In this post, I hope to provide practical tips and encouragement through Scripture to help you become more like Jesus, fight temptation, and experience freedom. (more…)
Porn is not just a man’s problem. Porn is entering into our churches and affecting men AND women. When was the last time you heard a sermon on porn in your church? If so, when was the last time you heard it preached to women?
Most female porn addicts feel alone. This could be because the church isn’t talking about it.
Instead of finding freedom, women are living alone in shame and bondage. (more…)
Doesn’t my body know that I started to follow Jesus my freshman year of college? Yet, why does it constantly not follow Jesus? My mind. My heart. My body. All connected, and yet all do their own thing. Christian dating is hard. Setting physical boundaries is hard. You can only read so many devotionals, Christian blogs and Bible verses on purity before you begin to wonder, what am I doing wrong? Why is none of this controlling my body?
What do you do if you’ve set physical boundaries and you’re pursuing purity in dating, yet your body is doing its own thing?
Allow me to share my story, one of the many stories where my body acts differently from my heart and mind. Through my story and through Scripture, let’s learn together what to do when our bodies don’t know we are Christians. (more…)
Freedom. We want it, we crave it, yet we think it’s impossible to have.
Even as believers, there are a lot of us living in chains. Slaves to our desires. Slaves to our sin. We have heard of the concept of freedom, but we have never experienced it for ourselves.
Most days we think we can earn this freedom. Maybe if we pray more, do more, or work more, then we will experience freedom, but eventually we run out of steam. (more…)
I’ll never forget how I felt the first time I looked into the mirror after being date raped. I stood there naked, alone and ashamed. I began to question God and his love for me. (more…)