I used to believe I was a “good” Christian girl. Now every time I hear this phrase, I cringe. Growing up, I believed that being a Christian meant being good, moral, and perfect, so I tried to be a “good” person. I failed, a lot.
It was not until college, that I learned that being a Christian has nothing to do with being good enough. Being a Christian is realizing that nothing we could do would ever be enough to cover our sins, and that is why we need Jesus.
I’ll never forget the day my high school boyfriend told me I was a “bad” Christian. I thought I was a “good” Christian girl for many reasons, but in regards to our relationship I thought I was “good” because we had never had sex. We were on our way to school and had been fighting the whole drive there. I told him that God had convicted me, and that I wanted to stop pushing physical boundaries. My boyfriend did not like or understand this idea. He wasn’t a Christian, and didn’t understand my conviction. I don’t blame him, because I did a bad job of living my life for Jesus. His response, “But we already have done these things, how can we just stop?”
Through out our relationship, I openly called myself a Christian, yet I wasn’t walking with God. I considered myself a “good” Christian girl because we weren’t technically having sex, but we were doing everything else. I was believing and living a lie and this would finally be brought to light.
We got out of the car. He slammed the door. I slammed the door. And as we walked up that hill to go to homeroom, he looked at me and said, “You’re a bad Christian.”
My mouth dropped and my eyes watered. No one had ever pointed out my hypocrisy.
I thought I was a “good” Christian, but I based that on my morals. I never got drunk, had sex, killed anyone, and was a really nice person. Doesn’t that make me a “good” Christian? I thought God’s love for me was based on what I did, not what Christ had done.
It is not possible to be a “good” Christian girl. But it is possible to do our best to live for Jesus and through our actions point others to him. I was living my life for myself, not for God.
Tweet: When we describe ourselves as “good” Christian girls, we take away the reason Jesus had to die.
Once I gave my life to Jesus and decided to live for him in college, God looked at me differently. He now looks at me as pure, clean, and holy – like Jesus. Jesus does not make me good. Jesus makes me forgiven. Previously, I had missed the heart of Christianity. I failed to realize that I was a broken sinner who needed a savior. I did not know God was my savior, thus I gave Jesus a bad rep.
Looking back, I had done a horrible job representing Christ to my friends in high school. I know that their salvation is not based on me and what I did or did not do, but I still wish I could have changed my example to them. I am sorry that I said one thing, and did another. I am sorry that I was that girl who said she was a Christian, but her life said differently. In high school, I was not authentically following Jesus. Since fully surrendering my life to Jesus in college, I’ve experienced so much freedom knowing that Jesus’ love for me does not depend on what I do.
No matter what you’ve done, Jesus can make you new. He can take your life and redeem you. Friends, I pray that you will realize that God doesn’t want you to be “good”. God wants you to be holy, and this is only possible though Jesus.