It’s easy to be angry at the people we sin sexually with. It is easy to blame them. We might think, ‘they pushed me further than I would have gone.’ This might be true, but we still are at fault. Our sexual sins hurt God, hurt ourselves, and they hurt others. We must come to God in prayer asking Him for forgiveness.
Why do we have to ask forgiveness for how our sexual sin hurt our partner?
Whoever it was that we sinned sexually with is a broken human just like we are. That person needs Jesus just like we do. That person is affected by sin just like we are. You might have no idea how the sexual sin from years ago is still negatively impacting his or her life. This is why we need to pray to God for forgiveness for how our actions impacted their lives and pray for healing and redemption in their lives.
“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” 1 John 1:9
All of the men I messed around with sexually are not followers of Jesus. At the time when we sinned, I claimed to be a ‘Good Christian Girl.’ I have no idea how my sin impacted their hearts and minds. Thinking back on my sin, it is easy for me to blame them for us going too far. But I was at fault. Now that Jesus has changed my life, I want to pray that Jesus will change theirs too.
I had an offense against all the guys I had done things with. I used them for selfish and impure motives. Using them was wrong. I needed to go to God in forgiveness.
“It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control your own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the pagans, who do not know God; and that in this matter no one should wrong or take advantage of a brother or sister.” 1 Thessalonians 4:3-6a.
Not only did I sin against the men, I sinned against God. I misused God’s gift of sex and I denied God the opportunity to fulfill my need for love and acceptance. I knew my sin hurt God, but I didn’t fully understand why or how. When we ask God for forgiveness, it is more powerful when we know just what we are asking Him for forgiveness for.
In this post, I want to give you practical steps to help you turn to God for forgiveness for your past of sexual sin. As hard as it may be, we need to go to God with our whole list of sexual sins and pray over every single one. This may be a long process for you. You may need to repeat the steps a few times. We all heal differently, so this may not even work for your personality. No matter how this affects you, whether it brings healing or doesn’t help at all, my biggest word of encouragement is to spend time daily reading God’s love letter to you. The Word of God is truly the best way to experience healing, forgiveness, and God’s love.
This task will be hard, but I hope it will start to bring you freedom. If you are still living in shame from your past, this is a great way to start releasing those chains of guilt and begin to experience the forgiveness that God freely gives.
How to Find Forgiveness from Sexual Sin
Step 1: Pray. Ask God to reveal to you the names of every person you’ve had sexual contact with, those who you’ve created a bond with.
Step 2: Write down every name and event.
Step 3: Pray through each name and event, asking God to show you your sin through His eyes, asking Him to redeem you, forgive you, and make you new.
Step 4: Pray for every person from your list with whom you sinned sexually. Ask God to show you how your sin and bad choices could have affected their lives and ask God to forgive you and redeem their lives.
(Need an example prayer of forgiveness? Check out Psalm 51:1-12.)
I pray that this activity would help you sever the bonds that you created with every single person whom you sinned sexually. I’m not asking you to reach out to the people from your past, I’m only asking you to go to God with your past. I pray that you would experience God’s forgiveness. I pray that you will experience freedom from the baggage of your past. I pray that God will redeem you, restore you, and completely heal you. I pray that you would accept God’s forgiveness and live a life free from shame.
“Let us purify ourselves from everything that contaminates body and spirit, perfecting holiness out of reverence for God.” 2 Corinthians 7:1
Unsure what all of this forgiveness stuff really means? Want to know how to have a personal relationship with God? Click to read more.