“When I was 21 years old, I wrote I Kissed Dating Goodbye. And in it I argued that dating was a bad idea. And not just a bad idea, it was selfish. And only lead to heartbreak,” Josh says as he started his documentary. Josh thought he had all the answers to solve the problems he saw in romantic relationships.
“Run. Bolt before he dies and leaves you heartbroken.” That’s what a friend said when I told her about the cancer-surviving man I had met in the elevator.
Just days before this conversation, this man and I had become Facebook friends. While scrolling through his profile pictures, I paused — I saw a white sash draped over his shoulder. Not any white sash, but one that read “survivor.” That cute boy I met in the elevator had survived cancer.
Maybe I should run now while I have the chance. (more…)
How far can my boyfriend and I go physically before it becomes a sin?
Christians ask this question all the time, so if you are asking this, you are not alone. You are normal and your desires are normal. Being physically attracted to your significant other is a good thing. If you weren’t physically attracted, I would recommend you break up. Our challenge then becomes, what do we do with these desires?
Our churches are filled with conflicting beliefs. Some Christians believe kissing is okay. Others argue you shouldn’t kiss until your wedding day. Some Christians think that everything but vaginal sex is okay. Others argue that sex includes more than vaginal sex. What do we do with these contradictions?
In this post, I will answer ‘How Far is Too Far,’ share some personal stories, and provide some practical tips to live out purity in dating. (more…)
In four months I can freely have sex with my husband whenever we want, but for now, we can’t. We’re engaged and waiting. Deciding to honor God in purity, my fiancé and I are refraining from experiencing sexual intimacy. This isn’t easy. In fact, waiting is hard.
We’ve messed up and have pushed the boundaries further than we’ve wanted to, but we still have yet to have sex. And each time we realize we are pushing the line, we re-evaluate. We re-check our physical boundaries. We re-ask each other this question:
Why are we fighting for purity?
If we don’t know why we are fighting, we will stop fighting. If we don’t see the value of purity, we will never guard it. (What does the Bible say about purity?) Beth Moore explains this perfectly in her new study, Entrusted, “We won’t effectively guard what we don’t highly esteem.”
Do you have high esteem for purity? Do you want to live a life marked by obedience to God?(more…)
Readers often ask us questions about relationships, specifically Christian romantic relationships. Women want to know how to find a godly man, what godly men look for in a girlfriend, and lots more. Today four Christian men answer questions about their significant other. Among the four, one is dating, two are engaged, and one is married. Let’s check out their answers! (more…)
I recently got engaged to a godly Christian man. Let me share with you our proposal story. Zack and I were back at his apartment after a night of two-stepping. That morning I had landed in Dallas after being away for a few weeks. When I got home from the airport Zack had given me roses and showed me a puzzle that he completed as a surprise.
Zack knows I love puzzles. In fact, growing up my Dad called me the Puzzle Queen. Months before Zack proposed, Zack had ordered this personalized puzzle online and completed the whole puzzle by himself (a big task for a non puzzle queen). After finishing it, he flipped it over and wrote a secret message that I wouldn’t see for months. (more…)
You may think I’m crazy. You might think that what I’m about to say is not relevant in today’s world. Hear me out. In high school, I was not planning on waiting until marriage, I just hoped I found a guy I loved. This all changed when I fell in love with God. Now, I want to honor God and give Him all the glory in my current relationship, so I plan on waiting to have sex until my wedding night.
The Bible calls us to be pure and avoid sexual immorality. This is 100% different from the world, but remember that Jesus warns us that we will look different.
I’ve heard a few myths from readers and friends on why they don’t think a couple should wait until their wedding night to have sex. Let me share these myths with you and explain why I think they are myths. (more…)
As a 15 year old girl, I thought I loved him. He was the first boy I held hands with, my first kiss and my first boyfriend. As a high school girl, I dreamed of being together forever. Every night we would talk on the phone for hours, giggling about our days and never running out of things to talk about. He knew more about me than anyone else at that time, even to the point of being able to read my mind.
Doesn’t my body know that I started to follow Jesus my freshman year of college? Yet, why does it constantly not follow Jesus? My mind. My heart. My body. All connected, and yet all do their own thing. Christian dating is hard. Setting physical boundaries is hard. You can only read so many devotionals, Christian blogs and Bible verses on purity before you begin to wonder, what am I doing wrong? Why is none of this controlling my body?
What do you do if you’ve set physical boundaries and you’re pursuing purity in dating, yet your body is doing its own thing?
Allow me to share my story, one of the many stories where my body acts differently from my heart and mind. Through my story and through Scripture, let’s learn together what to do when our bodies don’t know we are Christians. (more…)