Archive of ‘Freedom From Sexual Sin & Shame’ category

Pastor Encourages Pornography to Stop Shame

Should pastors encourage people to look at porn to avoid shaming them?

“I’m not going to shame people when they already feel ashamed,” said a well known Lutheran pastor in an interview. She believes that consumption of pornography should not be shamed. I agree. We should never shame someone for viewing porn, but this doesn’t mean we should encourage it. 

Shame is thinking something is wrong with the core of who we are. Shame creates a fear of unworthiness, specifically of the love of God and others. Without feeling worthy of that love, sometimes, we continue to live in our sexual sin. Trapped, we find that sexual shame hinders our ability to give and receive love and keeps us in a vicious cycle of sin and unworthiness. Shame lies to us, telling us that no one will ever love us.

If you struggle with watching porn, you are not shamed. But I can’t lie to you and tell you that watching porn will free you from shame.

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Does Sexual Shame Sometimes Make You Feel Stupid?

Does Sexual Shame Sometimes Make You Feel Stupid?

You’re not alone.

As my now husband and I were dating, we felt shame for our sexual desires. We chose to avoid sex before marriage, but longed for “oneness.” No one told us this was normal, healthy even, and that God created us as sexual beings. The fact that we desired sex revealed that we were two healthy humans. Instead of praising God for our heathy bodies, we felt embarrassed for desiring something off limits. 

Enter sexual shame into our relationship.

This was not the first time I experienced shame. I felt the need to hide my sexual desires as a young single woman. I felt shame after going too far with my high school boyfriend, and after my dad found a hickey on my neck, and after experiencing sexual abuse.

Many things can make us experience sexual shame. We feel sexual shame when… (more…)

Married and Experiencing Pain During Sexual Intercourse?

Having Painful Sex Emotional healing from naïve expectations

Experiencing sexual pain during intercourse? You are not alone.  Nearly three out of four women have pain during intercourse at some time during their lives. For some women, the pain lasts only for a time; for twenty to fifty percent of these women, the pain remains over time.

My story includes sexual pain. I share my story FIRST to give women the gift of going SECOND. I share my story to bring women FREEDOM.

Check out my new article on Fathom Mag, “Having Painful Sex: Emotional healing from naïve expectations.”

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3 Bible Verses for Healing from Sexual Shame

Sexual Shame With a past filled with sexual abuse, promiscuity, and an unhealthy sex education, I lacked a healthy view of sexuality. The biggest lie that I believed was that I was sexually broken.

My view of sex was far from the truth that God promises in His love letter. I had two distorted and conflicting views of sex:

  1. My experiences taught me that sex is bad and shameful.
  2. The movies taught me that sex is the best thing this world has to offer.

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Will my husband forgive me for my sexual past?

With tears in her eyes, hesitating to ask, she whispered, “Will my future husband still love and forgive me?” My new friend had a fear common to women who have found freedom from sexual sin. Jesus freed her from the chains of pornography, but currently she was gripped by the chains of fear. Have you had this fear or other fears about your future spouse and marriage because of your sexual past? (more…)

To the Girl Addicted to Porn — A Man’s Perspective

To the girl addicted to porn - a man's perspective

Meet Sam: Sam Eaton writes at RecklesslyAlive.com and is a monthly contributor of JP Ministries. Sam’s heart for Jesus is contagious. He’s a music teacher by day, and a youth ministry and worship musician by night. You can friend him on twitter @aliverecklessly. Enjoy today’s guest post! (more…)

To the virgin with lingerie hidden under her bed…

Sex, shame and lingerie. Christian Sexuality. Let’s discuss Christian sexuality, because the Church has failed in this area. Instead of living in freedom, Christian women are hiding in shame. Instead of talking about sex, Christian women are putting their sexuality in a box under their beds.

Recently, I met one Christian woman in her thirties who shared that she had a box of lingerie tucked away under her bed. She shared that she’d been buying cute underwear and bras for years. Every sale, she added another to her collection. Hoping that one day, she would have a husband to share them with.

Her story left me questioning:

Will a husband fill her longing to be loved? What if she never gets married?

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Jesus Loves Porn Addicts

Jesus Loves Porn Addicts _ JoyPedrow.com Jesus loves people who watch porn. Jesus even loves porn stars. Yes, Jesus loves both of these groups of people. No matter what, His love for them will never change. Why is this? Because Jesus came to save the broken, the lost, and the hurting.

While on earth, Jesus spent most of His time with lost, broken people. In Matthew 9:12-13, Jesus states, “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. But go and learn what this means: I desire mercy, not sacrifice. For I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.”

Spiritually healthy people don’t understand that they are sick, sinful, and in need of a Savior. But the sick, they line up outside of the doctor’s office hoping for something to heal the pain. Do you realize that you are sick and in need of a savior? Maybe you are immune to the hurting in your heart. Maybe you think these feelings are normal. Maybe you actually think you are spiritually healthy. (more…)

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