How many sermons have you heard on singleness and sexuality? Sadly, many churches fail to cover these topics in messages. Our singles are believing the lie that something is wrong with them for having sexual desires and curiosities. Can we free these women from shame and share the message that God created them as sexual beings? We need to talk about singleness and sexuality because our single members are asking questions like, “What do we do with our sexual desires?” If we don’t provide these answers, pornography could become their solution.
When the church views marriage as the ultimate goal, we are hurting everyone. We hurt the singles now and we hurt them again if they get married because they are entering marriage thinking that marriage is the solution. The real and lasting solution is Jesus. Yes, I’m married. And yes, I still have all the same issues I had when I was single. Marriage didn’t fix me. Marriage didn’t heal my addiction to masturbation and pornography, Jesus did. Marriage is not our highest calling, but rather following Jesus is our highest calling.
About the poet: Mitchell Rodgers is on staff at The Rock Community Church in Lakeland, FL working with youth and college students. He is the founder of Still Small Voice Ministry, firmly believing that God still speaks. He is working on his Masters of Divinity at Southeastern University, binge watches Netflix, and loves his wife Bailey! Tweet him @Mr_Rodgers8
5 Ways Parents and the Church Can Help Teens Live Pure Lives
Pornography and masturbation—two words we almost never hear from parents or the church, yet teens are asking questions about them. Children begin watching pornography at younger and younger ages, possibly around four or five years old. Porn becomes a child’s sex education. To help teens live pure lives, we must intentionally invest in their lives and talk about sexuality.
5 Ways Parents and the Church Can Help Teens Live Pure Lives:
1. Have open and honest conversations
One youth pastor shared, “When asking our youth whether their parents ever talked about sex, not one raised their hand.” Parents barely talk about sex past the one time “sex talk.” Talking about purity should be a continual conversation, not a one time talk.
Should pastors encourage people to look at porn to avoid shaming them?
“I’m not going to shame people when they already feel ashamed,” said a well known Lutheran pastor in an interview. She believes that consumption of pornography should not be shamed. I agree. We should never shame someone for viewing porn, but this doesn’t mean we should encourage it.
Shame is thinking something is wrong with the core of who we are. Shame creates a fear of unworthiness, specifically of the love of God and others. Without feeling worthy of that love, sometimes, we continue to live in our sexual sin. Trapped, we find that sexual shame hinders our ability to give and receive love and keeps us in a vicious cycle of sin and unworthiness. Shame lies to us, telling us that no one will ever love us.
If you struggle with watching porn, you are not shamed. But I can’t lie to you and tell you that watching porn will free you from shame.
“Porn for women” ranked number one in searches on Pornhub in 2017, increasing by over 1,400 percent since 2016. Despite the increase of women addicted to porn, Christians fail to talk about pornography and women. When scrolling through Twitter, one can find article headlines that read, “Talk to Your Son About Porn,” and “A Letter to My Sons About Porn.” Christians successfully talk about the dangers of porn for sons, but what about for daughters? Most articles about pornography use masculine pronouns, isolating women, yet, one-third of women report using porn on a regular basis.
Girls need rescuing from the chains of pornography, too.
Thankful to join Josh McDowell and Josh Proctor as we begin the conversation of freedom from pornography. If you are struggling with pornography, don’t remain in isolation. Contact me and together, let’s begin a journey towards healing.
As my now husband and I were dating, we felt shame for our sexual desires. We chose to avoid sex before marriage, but longed for “oneness.” No one told us this was normal, healthy even, and that God created us as sexual beings. The fact that we desired sex revealed that we were two healthy humans. Instead of praising God for our heathy bodies, we felt embarrassed for desiring something off limits.
Enter sexual shame into our relationship.
This was not the first time I experienced shame. I felt the need to hide my sexual desires as a young single woman. I felt shame after going too far with my high school boyfriend, and after my dad found a hickey on my neck, and after experiencing sexual abuse.
Many things can make us experience sexual shame. We feel sexual shame when… (more…)
With tears in her eyes, hesitating to ask, she whispered, “Will my future husband still love and forgive me?” My new friend had a fear common to women who have found freedom from sexual sin. Jesus freed her from the chains of pornography, but currently she was gripped by the chains of fear. Have you had this fear or other fears about your future spouse and marriage because of your sexual past? (more…)
Experience FREEDOM from pornography today. Check out our Bible reading plan on Bible.com. This plan has over 10,000 completions. You too can become one of the over 10,000 women who have experienced freedom from addiction and shame.